Written by Dirk Gessler
It all started innocently enough. My friend Dave kept telling me about this awesome workout program he was using called CrossFit. I resisted for awhile. I was quite happy with my progress in the Couch 2 5K program. At that point I was able to run about 5 minutes at a time without wishing I was dead. After about 30 seconds I was certainly wishing I was not running anymore, but at least death wasn’t one of my current desires.
Dave was persistent though, in a way only a former MMA fighter can be. He stopped by my house one day and told me we were going to the gym. He said it in a way that didn’t really leave room for argument. I had done a tiny bit of research on the whole CrossFit thing he kept talking about and I knew enough to know it was scalable. With that little bit of respite, I tried desperately to assuage my fears as I grabbed my workout clothes and headed out the door with him.
We got to the gym and I tried one last time to head to the treadmills. He wasn’t buying it. He told me I needed to warm up to do the WOD off the “main site” (whatever that meant). He set up a little circuit of different movements that included some rowing. He told me I was supposed to row 500 meters and aim for less then 2 minutes. I finished the 1st sweating profusely, I was a little bit shaky, and I definitely wanted to puke (in my defense it was really hot in the room and I had no clue about how to eat for actual workouts).
I persevered though and I finished the third round of his pushup, medball, row circuit and proudly told him I was done! I was drenched in sweat and my vision was a little fuzzy but I felt good. I certainly felt like I accomplished more than my roughly 20 minutes of running would have. He smiled at me and said the most horrible thing possible: “Good, now we can start the workout!” I wanted to pass out. “Yea right, “I told him, “let’s go grab a beer.” He laughed and pointed me over to the corner where he had moved a few of these box things next to some pull up bars.
“Maybe this wont be so bad,” I thought. I mean after all my breath wasn’t coming in ragged gasps anymore. He told me the actual workout consisted of 3 movements done in 5 rounds. He said it was:
5 rounds
10 Wall climbs
15 Toes to Bar
20 Box jumps (24”)
He quickly showed me how to perform the movements. They all looked simple enough I thought. How bad can it be? He also told me since I was just starting out I should do:
5 Rounds
5 Wall climbs
10 Toes to bar
15 Box jumps (20”)
Even better, lower numbers and a smaller box…I can do this; I mean I can do anything! Without much fanfare he told me to get started and keep track of my time. I came out of the gate strong, pacing myself never was (and still isn’t) my strong suit. I rolled through the first round pretty quick. I am sure my toes to bar didn’t make any of the standards, and my wall climbs were pretty weak too, but I kept going.
By the second round I knew I was in trouble. I was fondly remembering when my breath was coming in gasps, at least then I could breath. My field of vision was narrowing. Thoughts of throwing up were long gone, that would take way too much energy, energy I certainly didn’t have to spare. The few times I took the massive amount of energy required to glance over at Dave I took some solace in the fact that he didn’t seem to be faring any better.
The puddle of sweat under my wall climb spot grew into a lake and then finally a raging ocean. I stopped trying to wipe the sweat off my face because I ran out of dry spots on my shirt to wipe it. My grip started to fail on the toes to bar. I swear Dave kept increasing the height of my box when I wasn’t looking. By the end I am positive that I was doing 55” box jumps!
Finally, 37 minutes later, I finished. I don’t know how long I spent sprawled on the ground in a panting, sweating, drooling pile. Long enough to start relishing the crazy stares I was getting from people as they walked by to grab their dumbbells to do their curls. I was hooked; I wanted more of this euphoric feeling of exhaustion and accomplishment. When I got around to standing up under my own power, Dave smiled and asked if I still wanted to get that beer. I feebly shook my head no as we headed off to the locker room.
I resolved to start looking into the CrossFit thing seriously. The next morning I resolved to look into this CrossFit thing more seriously right after I could move again. I have never been so sore. Every single part of my body was in full out rebellion. I few days later walking wasn’t nearly as painful and a few days after that I was the one dragging equipment around in the gym to optimize my workout.